Daily Conversations Matter…
The old saying “It’s easier to plan for the battle after it’s already been fought” applies all too often to simple daily conversations we have. How often have you analyzed a conversation you had after the fact and thought of a better way to say something or a more effective way of making your point? We all do this to varying degrees. Knowing this, should we rehearse for our daily conversations ahead of time? The answer may depend on who you will be conversing with during the day and your core personality.
Men and Women Speak a “different language”
Research has confirmed what most of us already know men and women communicate differently. Women are dialogue oriented while men are action oriented. Women focus on feelings and emotions while men focus on fixing things. Of course, there are exceptions to these stereotypes, but they are accurate overall. The difference in approach between men and women when they talk often leads to confusion and frustration.
The idea of rehearsing your conversations with the men in your life may actually help eliminate some of the confusion and frustration. By rehearsing ahead of time, you can narrow down your point and figure out how best to express what you are trying to say in a way that will both capture your conversational partner’s attention and ensure that he understands what you want to accomplish by having the conversation.
Woman to Woman Talk is Easier
On the other hand, if your conversations will be with other women, the need to rehearse ahead of time may not be as pressing. Women speak the same language. We understand where the conversation is going, why the “touchy-feely” build up is important, and can often read between the lines much better than our male counterparts. Not only do we understand each other better when having a simple, non-confrontational discussion, but we also tend to handle confrontation and disputes similarly as well.
If you anticipate that the conservation may become heated, resolving the dispute will probably go much smoother if your are talking to a female than with a male. This is not to say that women are any better at handling verbal disputes than men, only that two women (or two men) stand a batter chance of resolving a verbal dispute than a woman and a man. Resolving a dispute, or finding a solution to a problem, is always easier when you clearly understand what the issue is, where the other person is coming from, and what they are trying to accomplish.
Studies Support Different Communication Techniques
Numerous studies support the basic premise that men and women communicate differently, but most of us don’t need a study to tell us this. If you think back to the last conversation that you found yourself over-analyzing and second guessing, the chances are it was with a man. Likewise, if you have ever found yourself planning ahead for an important conversation, it was also likely for a conversation with a man. Rehearsing ahead of time for daily conversations may be particularly helpful, therefore, if the conversations will be with a man.
Practice Makes Perfect!
Along with rehearsing daily conversations that you may have with the men in your life, you may wish to rehearse other daily conversations as well if you are someone who finds verbal communication to be stressful or intimidating. Both men and women can be social butterflies or quiet bookworms, with a wide range of communication styles in between. If you lean toward the quiet bookworm type, then spending a few minutes each day practicing for common social situations in which you will be expected to converse with strangers is a great way to put yourself at ease when you actually find yourself in one of those situations.
Hopefully your daily conversations will not resemble a battle; however, planning, practicing and rehearsing ahead of time for upcoming conversations is unlikely to do any harm, and may actually prevent a battle from erupting.