Do We Have To? Causes and Cure for a Decreased Sex Drive

Sex drive Dissipating?

He runs his finger tenderly down your arm and kisses your ear – a sure sign that he is interested in doing more in bed tonight than simply slipping off to sleep. While all women will, from time to time, find themselves less than eager to reciprocate their partners’ affections, if you are finding yourself increasingly disinterested in sex, there could be a problem to which you need to tend. Instead of ignoring the noticeable dip in your sex drive, hunt out the issue at the root of the problem and cure it, ensuring that next time your sweetie signals that he wants some TLC, you are more than eager to provide it.

Relationship Problems

The first thing you should consider when you find yourself losing your sexual longing is whether your relationship is all it could be. Quite commonly, if your relationship is in the midst of a rough patch, you will subconsciously respond to this by exhibiting less sexual desire. If you think your relationship could use some improvement, try couples counseling and, once all is mended, you will likely find your sexual desire levels making a rebound. If you feel that the root of your relationship problems is sexual in nature, try a more specific course of therapy treatments, seeking a sex therapist instead.

Mental Stressors

Your sex drive level is inversely proportional to your level of stress. If your stress levels are through the roof, you will, more commonly than not, not have a strong desire to engage in sexual activity. The only way to cure what ails you if this is the case is to tend to the stress in your life. If you are stressed about money, focus on getting your finances in order. If you have recently lost your job, concentrate on finding new employment. By dedicating yourself to these stress-curing tasks, you can likely decrease the amount of time that you find yourself with reduced sexual urges.

Health Problems

A plethora of health problems can leave you losing your longing to slip between the sheets with your partner. If, after consideration, you determine that relationship struggles or emotional challenges aren’t at the root of your loss of arousal, it’s time to make an appointment with your MD. Explain your problem to your doctor candidly and he will help you hunt down the culprit. Some common medical causes of lack of arousal include:

High cholesterol – A study reported in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that spiked cholesterol levels, something that can be easily tried with a healthy diet make over, can leave you uneager for sex.
Birth Control Pills – The hormones in some birth control pills wreak havoc on sexual desire levels. Particularly if you just recently changed your birth control and you have now found yourself less sexually eager, this is a likely cause.
Reduced Vaginal Estrogen – Particularly post menopause, you may simply have reduced estrogen levels that are leading to vaginal dryness, making sex not so much fun. This can be easily treated with vaginal creams.

A low sex drive isn’t something with which you have to simply deal. Instead, you can be proactive and work to rebound your sexual desire. By doing so, you can strengthen your bond with your partner, enjoy a physically loving connection and reap the physical pleasure associated with engaging in healthy and regular sex.

6 Signs of a Bad First Date

First dates are generally despised by many. While each first date does provide the opportunity to meet someone new who could ultimately end up being the man of your dreams, more often than not, these romantic outings don’t turn out as well as the lovelorn dater had hoped. To ensure that you don’t waste your time on a man with whom you have no future, be particularly keen to signs of distress from the start. If you find yourself on a bad first date, end the charade and save your sanity, holding out hope that your next first date is better.

1. He forgot his wallet

In this day and age the man paying for each and every date is considered by many to be an antiquated practice. Regardless of whether or not you intended to pay for some or all of the date, however, a guy who “conveniently” forgets his wallet is likely not one you want to pursue past date one.

2. He mentions his mother more than once

Having admiration for his mother isn’t a bad thing – being obsessed with this woman in his life is. If the majority of your first-date conversation includes mention of this matriarch, take it as a sign of impending danger.

3. He compares you to an ex

Regardless of whether the comparisons are complimentary, as in, “you are so much more beautiful than my ex,” or negative, like, “You do that same thing my ex did that always drove me crazy,” the fact that he even mentions his past relationship is a sign that he hasn’t moved past this former flame and should be a major red flag

4. He laughs at his jokes even though you don’t

A guy who is funny is something many girls seek. A guy who just thinks he’s funny, however, can be a horrible bore. Unless you want to spend years listening to jokes that are far from laugh-inducing, steer clear of the comic who only cracks himself up and no one else.

5. You can hear crickets

A date is all about getting to know each other. If you and your would-be-beau have so little to talk about that silence prevails on your first date, you likely aren’t a match made in heaven.

6. He shakes your hand

Not everyone thinks that kissing on the first date is appropriate, but a date completely devoid of intimacy is a bad sign. If your guy ends the date with a firm handshake, it likely wasn’t the raging success you had hoped it would be.

I Have it All… Now How Do I Juggle It?

To Have it all…

For many women, having it all is the ultimate, seemingly unattainable, dream. However, once they accomplish it — getting that dream job, finding the ideal spouse and producing some precocious and adorable offspring – they find that achieving this goal isn’t nearly as difficult as balancing it all once you have it all. If you are in the middle of a masterful juggling act, try out these tips as they may make it substantially easier for you to keep all of your balls in the air.

Don’t Neglect your Health

When you find yourself pulled in a million different directions, it can be tempting to put yourself on the back burner, skipping those exercise classes or grabbing quick-and-tasty food on the go instead of eating balanced meals. While these practices may save you time in the short term, in the long run neglecting your health could prove a disastrous decision. Your body will take this type of abuse for a while, but eventually it will rebel against you, forcing you to slow down or crash, likely at the most inopportune time.

Focus Your Efforts

While it is entirely natural for your mind to wander to the tasks you have waiting for you at home while you are at work, and vice versa, if you constantly give in to this tendency you will dramatically reduce your overall productivity. When you are at work, push home worries aside and you will be able to get your work done more rapidly, potentially even reducing the number of hours you end up spending on the job.


When you have so many items on your to do list that you feel it will soon swallow you whole, it can be difficult to decide which to tackle first, potentially leading you to abandon the list entirely and throw yourself a pity party on the couch, complete with ice cream. Instead of giving in to this temptation, become master of your list by learning to adeptly prioritize. After crafting your list of things to do, be it for home or work, rank each item from 1 to 5, assigning a 1 to the post pressing tasks and a 5 to those that can wait. This simple task will allow you to immediately narrow your focus, showing you exactly where you should start.


Stick to a Schedule – Usually

As you work to climb the corporate ladder you will likely find yourself putting in extra hours on the job. On occasion, a late night at work is simply a must; however, for the sake of your family, you shouldn’t allow every night to become a late night. Commit yourself to arriving home in time for dinner with your family at least four nights each work week. By doing so you can ensure that you have ample time to spend appreciating the family you so carefully built while still fulfilling your on-the-job duties.

The Life and Accomplishments of Ingrid Boulting

Ingrid Boulting; An Inspiration

It was not surprising that Ingrid Boulting came back to acting in 2006 for a role in the movie Conversations with God, a movie based on the inspirational, internationally-acclaimed books by Neale Donald Walsch. Achieving emancipating, mature spirituality, after all, has been one of Boulting’s life-long goals. In essence, the film was a symbolic culmination of this goal.

Like Walsch, Boulting has been on a quest for illuminating answers from an early age; the former sought guidance from God, the latter from life/nature and from within. Although most Hollywood celebrities get swallowed up by success, Boulting, after experiencing it, voluntarily gave it up for (as she prophetically says in the movie The Last Tycoon) “a quiet life” somewhere.

Career Achievements

Without question, Boulting has an extraordinary curriculum vitae. At a young age she (born: 1947 in Transvaal, South Africa) was drawn into the very artistically demanding world of ballet, to which she devoted over a decade of her life. Ballet then led to successful model, gracing the pages of magazines such as Harper’s Bazaar, Vogue, Seventeen, London Life, Celebrity Sleuth, and countless others.

Dancing and Modeling

While dancing and modeling, she discovered the wonderful world of drawing/painting — crafts which she has pursued to this day. Apparently destined to delve into different areas of the fine arts, Boulting then discovered acting, first on stage and then in the movies. Amazingly, she went on to do a series of movies spanning over three decades: The Witches (1966); Inadmissible Evidence (1968); The Last Tycoon (1976); Deadly Passion (1985) among them.

The fact that Ingrid Boulting has had a successful career is indisputable, but that is not what sets her apart from other celebrities. In fact, some people (if they know who she is) may even label her success as “mediocre.”

The following facts, however, suggest otherwise:

  • Her pretty face being featured on hundreds of pages in major publications.
  • Co-acting with such Hollywood greats as Orson Wells, Olivia de Haviland, Robert DeNiro, Tony Curtis, Robert Mitchum, Ray Milland and Jack Nicholson.
  • Being a successful artist since 1993.
  • Being a knowledgeable yoga instructor.
  • Acting on stage, TV and films.
  • Offering sliding scale pricing for the financially disadvantaged at her yoga studio .

A Renaissance Woman

While famous actresses often develop bad reputations, Miss Boulting espouses and advocates a clean, healthy lifestyle that is respectful to all living things. In fact, as a Yoga instructor, she helps people get in tune with nature and discover ways to stay healthy without the use of artificial tools or methods.

Through her art work, Boulting shares beautiful creations on canvas, as those people who continue to buy her renditions can no doubt attest. Although she has not received formal art training, Boulting has been painting since she was a child. Her teachers, she says, are heavyweights like Michelangelo, Paul Cezanne, Gustav Klimt, Valesquez, John Singer Sargent, James Whistler and Jean Antoine Watteau; she was also guided by the museums she visited while growing up.

Ingrid Boulting the Entrepreneur

In addition to all her other “roles,” Ingrid Boulting has become a very astute entrepreneur. Proving that one does not have to become a slave to one’s profession (in her case, a Hollywood celebrity), Miss Boulting founded and runs her own successful business, Sacred Space Studio. This facility, located in Ojai, California, provides yoga classes and other services. Going by the client testimonials on her website,, it has become a haven for people looking for spiritual/physical healing and empowerment.

Above all, though, is Ingrid Boulting’s commitment to family — more specifically, her daughter, Cheyne Rose, for whom she sacrificed her career. Would anyone other than a loving mother do that? In a world where obtaining wealth, fame, and associations with powerful people seem to be popular goals, Boulting has proven that one can reach for worthier, more lasting things . . . and still become self-fulfilled, happy and financially successful!

Book Helps Men Support and Understand Breast Cancer Patients

A Book About Breast Cancer, and more…

Sometimes the gift of a book can help someone you care about gain the information and perspective necessary to get through a tough time. What if that tough time involves a dad, brother or friend who doesn’t quite know what to do when breast cancer attacks someone he loves, whether mother, sister, wife or daughter?

A good choice might be to give him a copy of John W. Anderson’s book Stand by Her: A Breast Cancer Guide for Men.

Learning the Hard Way

Learning the right ways to give support during cancer treatment may not come naturally for a man, but Anderson’s book can make the process easier. During the 31 years prior to its publication, Anderson learned more about breast cancer than anyone except a doctor should have to know. He lost his mother to the bewildering disease in 1988 following her 10-year battle.

Thirteen years later, Anderson’s wife was diagnosed with breast cancer despite no family history of the illness. Another year passed, and his younger sister was in treatment for breast cancer. Over the years, the author as also watched two friends fight breast cancer. Somewhere along the way, he realized that he wanted to be a resource for other men trying to support mothers, wives, sisters and daughters through the illness.

From Black to Pink

Anderson assigned colors to each chapter of his book. The first chapter is represented by black for the darkness of first feelings following the diagnosis. The last chapter is pink for the cheerful feelings that accompany arriving at the 5-year remission mark. Along the way, Anderson explains what to expect about surgery, chemotherapy, radiation treatment, reconstructive surgery and the years of worry afterward about whether the cancer will return.

The book combines anecdotes from Anderson’s and other men’s experiences on the sidelines of breast cancer. It arms readers with information about research and resources as well as strategies for handling the medical, psychological and emotional surprises that arise when providing support.

Listening, Loving, Laughing

In particular, Anderson emphasizes listening well from the moment of diagnosis. Instead of trying to take over and solve the situation, he suggests that as caregivers, men need to be prepared to reflect women’s emotions. This may involve validating anger or laughing during lighter moments.

Men need to follow where these emotions lead rather than minimizing, ignoring or reacting to them in a way that stirs conflict. Anderson indicates that it is the woman’s illness, so the woman has a right to her feelings.

In the case of a husband and wife, reassurance also means reaching out with affection and intimacy if and when the wife is ready.

Positivity and Appreciation

Men can help surround the woman who has breast cancer with positive influences — a support team of friends, doctors, and people with similar spiritual beliefs. Anderson says that when possible, male caregivers need to remove any people who make the patient feel negative.

Everyone within this support group should strive to help the patient see that a happy ending is more than likely if the breast cancer was detected early. Whichever hand the patient has been dealt, her supporters should reinforce the preciousness of the here and now.

Remember that when you give this kind of book to a friend who is troubled about the illness of an important woman in his life, you help him to stand by her and you stand by both of them.