Patty Duke
The Stigma Buster
By Liz Sterling
There are circuitous roads we travel in life. If you pause
for a second and think back, you may recall some pivotal
moments that have led you to where you are today. Yet when
those events transpired, the final outcome was still unknown.
What we do know, is that everything happens for a reason.
Life Without Mother
Patty Duke's journey illustrates how truly incredible life
is. She came from humble beginnings. "My parents were
poor," she told me, "but they wouldn't want me
to say that. My mother had a depressive personality and
my father was a hopeless alcoholic, yet they gave me the
basics. They taught me to live by the golden rule, maintain
decency and to be honest. I was 6 when that part of my life
ended, but as time went by and I became consumed by this
show biz thing, I felt a longing to have normalcy restored
to my life. I have found that again and am thankful."
Training began for Duke when she was just 6 years old.
She began working by the time she was 7. "The whole
thing was an accident," she said. "My parents
had split and a couple who were involved in the show biz
industry approached my mother about my talent. Mom and I
were very close, more than very close actually, but they
convinced her that they could make me a star and give me
everything she couldn't. They said all those things that
appeal to someone who has no self-esteem. So she gave me
up to live with them. We were living just a few blocks away
from each other but it might as well have been Jupiter and
Mars. The Ross's became my managers and ruled my life. They
were taskmasters and I never saw my mother while I was young.
To this day…to this minute, I carry a torch for my
mother. Even though we did get back together and spent the
last 25 years of her life within arm's reach of each other,
that child within me is still longing
for her.
Call me Anna!
"My birth name is Anna and in my private life, across
the board, I am called Anna and have been for over 30 years.
The Patty came from the managers who thought it would be
cuter, but for me, it never took emotionally. I had to finally
settle within myself that Patty Duke had established certain
credentials and that I'd be silly to throw that away. Yet
I'm a person who is big on symbolism and a name is a symbol.
So I function as Patty Duke in public and Anna in private."
I was intrigued by the concept of symbolism so I asked
Anna to elaborate further. (At this point in our conversation,
I felt I had been invited into her private life, so I began
addressing her as Anna. It seemed most fitting that I acknowledge
her for who she is).
"Certain things evoke an emotional response in me…everything
from rosary beads to a white candle burning in the night.
My symbols are not identified with a universal meaning.
I imbue them with my own meaning and power. If I break it
down, the symbols I value in my life become my wishes for
peace and the right way to approach living.
Trusting Her Intuition
"I don't have any special systems to sort out the emotions
of my life; rather I am instinctive. Some things take me
half a second to reconcile, others take me years. My feelings
about God, church and religion are still unresolved. For
rolling down my eyes within minutes but that doesn't sustain
me. I am really looking for a spirituality that my consciousness
can grab. Something I can feel devotion toward. I have to
admit, I am green with envy for people who are devoted and
committed. I have found a few things that help me feel connected
to God, especially my husband and I believe God works through
him for me. Many times when I am confused, angry or unsettled,
I can feel my connection through him. I didn't plan on having
an agent be my link to God, but that's how it is.
"In my acting, and throughout the years, I have had
what I consider transcendental moments, especially when
playing Helen Keller. But even in small parts, there have
been lyrical happenings that have taken me to a richer place
in my spirit. When I look into the eyes of a newborn infant,
I know in my heart, there is a God. They look to me and
say; 'I know something you have forgotten.' I can feel the
God connection in their purity, innocence and their openness.
I just love babies."
Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder
Duke's life has had many ups and downs. In 1965, at the
age of 18, she married Harry Falk, an assistant director
on her TV show. He was 32. After the show was cancelled,
Patty's severe depression surfaced and included periods
of mania, suicide attempts, anorexia, drug abuse and alcoholism.
She and Falk were divorced in 1969, and in 1970 she had
an affair with married actor John Astin that left her pregnant.
Sean Astin (of Lord of the Rings fame) was born
in February of 1971.
John Astin eventually divorced his wife, and he and Patty
were married in August of 1972, when Sean was 18 months
old. John had three sons from his first marriage, and he
and Patty had another son, Mackenzie Astin, in 1974. Patty
found herself the mother of five boys. Along with the pressure
of developing their professional careers, Patty found life
to be very emotionally painful and difficult.
In 1982, after she and John Astin had separated, Patty
was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. She said receiving
the diagnosis was a huge relief. Today, Patty says that
Lithium helps her live a normal life.
Just Kevin's Mom
Patty and Astin divorced in 1985 and in 1986, Patty married
Michael Pearce, the man who is truly the love of her life.
"I crave an ordinary life," she exclaimed. "For
17 years, Michael and I have lived in Idaho. I fit in well
here. Our son goes to school, we have animals to love and
Michael is a great husband. First, we lived on a farm and
I loved being with all the animals. Now though, we live
in a little city and it has been good. Our 17-year-old son,
Kevin, has many friends and sometimes it feels like they
all live at our house. Sometimes people recognize me on
the street, but I am always gracious. Usually I am Kevin's
mom and I have a nice relationship with his buddies but
every once in a while they notice my Oscar® and they
want to know about it." (Patty has also received two
Golden Globes®, three Emmy Awards®, six Emmy Nominations
and a People's Choice Award.) "It's funny,
though," she adds, "because when the conversation
about my career and achievements is over, I'm just Kevin's
mom again.
"Every morning, when I open my eyes, my wonderful
husband brings me a cup of coffee. That's his insurance
for a peaceful day. Then there are the household chores,
a lot of telephoning and e-mailing on mental health issues,
and finally, I will pack for an upcoming trip. These days,
I am speaking and traveling a lot; talking about bipolar
disorder and mental health issues. For example, in Mental
Health month, I can travel to
18 cities in 3 weeks."
Spreading the Message
Duke describes her odyssey in two books, her autobiography,
Call Me Anna, published in 1987, and a book on
bipolar disorder written with medical reporter Gloria Hochman,
A Brilliant Madness: Living With Manic Depressive Illness,
in 1993. She also is active in the National Institute of
Mental Health (NIMH) and the National Alliance for the Mentally
Ill (NAMI) and has launched The Patty Duke Online Center
for Mental Wellness.
Anna recently helped launch the Broward Housing Solution's
Peace of Mind Giving Society, an opportunity for the community
to support Broward Housing Solutions and its mission to
provide quality housing opportunities to lower income persons
with mental illness in Broward County, Florida. Her keynote
address offered a first-hand look at living with mental
illness, struggling with bipolar disorder and a candid portrayal
of her challenging career.
Anna [Patty Duke] has become a stigma buster. When someone
is having a problem with their mental health she tells them
to move beyond the fear, get help and most importantly,
to take their medicine.
No winter blues for Balance Magazine readers.
Just remember, a bend in the road is not the end of the
road…it is life's meandering journey bringing you
to unknown places that are often recognized as destiny.
