Step Into Your
Greatness
Are You Ready, Willing and Able?
By Liz Sterling
"My greatest desire is for people to know who they are
from the inside out and to use that knowledge as a tool
of empowerment and love." --
-Iyanla Vanzant
From her book, "One Day My Soul Just Opened Up"
What are we, as women, willing to do? Stay up all night
and care for our sick child? Run errands and prepare dinner
even though our bones ache? Clean the steamer pot that housed
the broccoli that was left unattended for two days and became
foul smelling? Offer advice, run a business, set up a carpool.
Do you get it? We are unique, and, unlike those with two
XX genes, our pulse responds to the tides, labors with the
moon and swells with emotion.
"Summer time offers some down time," Iyanla Vanzant
says, "And it provides us with the ability to reflect."
In the summer, when things are blooming, it is an important
time to assess what is going on in our lives. But it is
also a most challenging task—and that is to assess ourselves
honestly. At some point, each of us must ask, what is the
truth of my life and what would I like the truth to be?
When you start to do that kind of work, be prepared so when
fall comes, we can be clear about what we are willing to
let fall away and die.
Women Are Internal Beings
"What we, as women need to understand, is we cannot
and must not do it the way men do it. We have been indoctrinated,
educated, socialized and conditioned in a male- dominated
society. We do everything the way men do. We work the way
men work, we even look the way men look. I never stand before
an audience and speak in pants. Never, ever! Women are designed
to be connected to the earth, to have a free flow of energy
to the earth. We need to pull the energy up and pull it
through our bodies. But because we have been conditioned
like men, we pull it down from the mind, from the intellect—into
our beings—and just the energy of that, pulls us off our
center. We begin to dress up the outside because men are
external, they protrude. Women are internal. We ought to
be doing things from the inside out. I want to encourage
women to begin living from the soft place, the place where
you can fall, and where you can just be who you are. Start
from that soft place, where you have no makeup, no hairdo,
you don't care if your teeth are brushed, the place where
you're not trying to impress anybody. Then you can go and
build from there."
Living in Alignment
When a woman is living in integrity—i.e., her heart
and her mind are aligned—her thinking and feeling are integrated.
It also means when what she says is integrated with her
thoughts, and that her actions support what really matters
to her! When you can do that, you have blossomed into your
Self. If you don't have joy or peace in your life, you are
not living in integrity. If you are not doing things that
support your growing older and wiser, you are out of integrity.
I invite you to find integrity in living your life.
Iyanla Vanzant creates and holds the space for us to find
the place where we can open our souls and rejoice in wonder.
Her story illustrates what we must be willing to do and
to stand up for…to be in harmony with our own truth.
White After Labor Day
She tells it this way, "I remember when I was practicing
law. At the time, I was going through part of my spiritual
ordination and training, and as part of that discipline,
we had to wear white for a year. We had to do this because
the color white is a reminder of where you sit, what you
do and how you look. When you wear white in December, you
stand out. White becomes a reminder to conduct yourself
in a way that when people look at you they see light, they
see clarity and cleanliness. They don't see the immoral
or inappropriateness that is rampant in our society. White
also makes you cautious. It's part of character and character
development which is so important when you are going to
minister and shepherd other people. So I had to wear white."
She explains, "There's an unspoken rule that lawyers
come to court in a navy, gray, brown or a black suit. I
didn't own a suit in any of those colors; in fact, I came
in wearing white everyday! One day the judge turned to the
court reporter and said, 'Ms Taylor isn't there an unspoken
rule that you don't where white after Labor Day?' Well I
just let it go, but then a few weeks later, the judge came
to me and again said, 'Ms. Vanzant, isn't there an unspoken
rule about wearing white?' And I said, 'If it's an unspoken
rule, how would I know that?' And he said, 'In my courtroom
this is what is required.' I told him that I was in a spiritual
development program and I was required to wear white for
a year. And he said, 'Not in my courtroom.' He told me either
I do as he said or go to jail for contempt of court. So
I had to make a choice. What am I going to stand for? Am
I willing to go to jail and pay a fine because I am committed
to the development of my spirit and character?"
There Is No Compromise
She continues, "I asked myself, am I going to compromise
that which I believe in just for the time when I am in his
courtroom, or am I willing to suffer and embrace the consequences?
So often, as women we come to a place where we are intimidated
about what matters to us. And, the moment comes when we
are not willing to embrace the consequences of those things
we are committed to…such as, being comfortable, familiar,
to please other people, to go along, to get along. Job for
me means, Just Over Broke. You are either broke financially,
emotionally, morally and spiritually; as long as you put
the job ahead of who you are and what matters most. So,
I went to jail! It was about my character, about my personal
development and about my growth." As Iyanla Vanzant
spoke, I sensed I was witnessing a woman and teacher who
had walked barefoot across the desert of her own barren
land. Could it be that we are being asked to excavate our
own landscapes, to dig up the seeds that haven't blossomed
and to replant them with intention, commitment and a willingness
to break free of the cycle of limitation?
Change For Women
"Change," she shares, "will come from a commitment
to ourselves as a divine and unique expression of the chief
architect of the universe. It's going to come from us as
women, women who have become clear and grounded in who we
are and clear in our purpose for being on the planet. Change
will come from a camaraderie and intimacy that needs to
grow between us—because the truth is—we have to show the
world how to do it. Change is going to come from us willing
to do things the way women do it. My husband cooks and everything
he cooks has to have tomato sauce in it. But I eat it, because
he cooks it. And, although I know he loves tomato sauce,
we have to be willing to explore the landscape of our lives.
I make pesto, alfredo, marinara sauce and I am willing to
explore. But we have been conditioned and programmed to
stay within boundaries and unfortunately, when we get beyond
the boundaries, we don't bring other women with us."
Filling the Table
She says with heartfelt concern, "Your readers may
not like this, but we as women must ask, 'When there is
a seat at this table, can I find, train and place a woman
in it?' I had that experience with Oprah. She came and got
me. When I hit her show, I had been given an opportunity
and she asked nothing in return. Bring the other women.
Surround yourself with other women. The job of a woman on
the planet is to pray, to beautify, to nurture, to teach,
to dance and to sing! If you just woke up in the morning
praying and dancing and singing, you'd have a great day.
If you look at the indigenous cultures, the ones who were
not born in concrete and skyscrapers, you would see that
these women stay close to the earth. These are women who
walk barefoot on the earth and feel the earth and her rhythm.
Stand up, get up and move up! Women have to realize and
get OK with the fact that we can't take one step at a time.
It means we have to take ten steps at a time to have the
miracle. We can do it and not fall. It doesn't mean skip
steps, or step before you are ready to step. It means when
we are moving forward we are moving at a much grander scale
because we are bringing the children, the husbands the sisters...we're
bringing a caravan with us. We can't be on the step, we
have to step up."
Vanzant says, "There are just some things I am not
willing to do anymore. I have taken the wisdom from my experiences
of the past, and used them. Scripture says, 'No discipline
feels good when you are going through it, but the rewards
you receive for your willingness to go through it, far exceed
the pain'. We have to be prepared to be positioned. In order
to get to where you're going, you must be prepared. Don't
ever worry about how to get things done...always ask…am
I willing?"
Liz Sterling —Southeast Feature Editor
liz@balancemagazine.com
© 2004 Balance Magazine
lyanla (pronounced Ee-Yan-La) Vanzant, hailed as among the
"most dynamic African-American speakers in the country"
by Emerge magazine, is a nationally recognized
inspirational speaker devoted to showing others the way
to transform their lives. She is the founder and Executive
Director of Inner Visions Spiritual Life Maintenance Network.
A best-selling author, her books include Tapping the
Power Within, Acts of Faith (1994 BlackBoard Book of
the Year), The Value in the Valley (1995 BlackBoard
Book of the Year), Faith in the Valley (1996 BlackBoard
Book of the Year), and two new guides to self-awareness
and spiritual fulfillment: In the Meantime: Finding
Yourself and the Love You Want (Simon & Schuster
Hardcover) and One Day My Soul Just Opened Up: 40 Days
and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength (Fireside Books/A
Simon & Schuster Trade Paperback Original). Vanzant's
personal experiences have given her profound insight into
life. After she left her abusive husband, Vanzant went to
Medgar Evers College and City University of New York law
school. She moved to Philadelphia with her children and
practiced as a public defender for three years. She later
became an ordained minister, committed to a message based
on the principles of divine power and self-determination.
