Find Your Way
A Map for Navigating Your Life and Love
By
Liz Sterling
Barbara De Angelis Ph.D., is one of the most
influential teachers of our time in the field of
relationships and personal growth. As a pioneer
of personal transformation, she was one of the
first on the scene in the 1980's to bring forth
the ideas of self-help.
With Zig Ziglar and many other motivational gurus
of the past, Barbara stands out as the woman who
has been a seeker of truth, a teacher of the
heart and a guide to embracing our inner wisdom.
The Long and Winding Road
Barbara's most recent book, How Did I Get Here?
Finding Your Way to Renewed Hope and Happiness
When Life and Love Take Unexpected Turns, is a
map for navigating the meandering road called
life. As author and poet David Whyte said, "If
we can see the path laid out for us, there is a
good chance it is not our path: it is probably
someone else's we have substituted for our own.
Our path must be deciphered every step of the
way." This deciphering is a euphemism for
finding our own way in a world that expects us to
know everything, where little is known. It's not
about getting it right or doing it well, it is
about learning to work with what life presents.
Barbara illustrates this throughout her book.
She wants us to be prepared for the unexpected,
to embrace and welcome the twists and turns,
knowing there is nothing arbitrary about the
experiences we encounter on this journey.
Life is forever changing. We all know that to be
true. Hugh Prather says, "Just when I think I
learned the way to live, life changes." So what
do we do when we collide with the unexpected and
as Barbara says, "find ourselves shattered
awake?" She offers something worth pondering, on
page 69 of her book. It is the classic poem,
"The Guest House" by Rumi, a 13th century poet.
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
sometimes momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Life Unfolding Perfectly
Have you ever felt the life you're living doesn't
match what you imagined? That what you
encountered wasn't in the game plan? The crowd
of sorrows was more than you bargained for? Have
you wondered what those turning points and wake
up calls mean?
They are about your life unfolding in perfect
order. Barbara says, "Everything is to be
welcomed. What feels like a crisis is, in truth,
a turning point, a moment of judgment, of
decisiveness, of transformation, when we have an
opportunity to separate from an old reality and
chart a new course." Our society tends to label
things. Anytime a man or woman makes abrupt
changes while in their late 40's or 50's, it's
called a midlife crisis. "The midlife crisis is
an experience that is misnamed," Barbara says.
"It should be called midlife awakening. It is
emotional alchemy that rebirths us at a crucial
point in our life journey."
So much is changing in our world. "The line
between our inner spirituality and our outer
life, including work, relationships, money, etc.,
is disappearing," Barbara acknowledges. "People
are beginning to develop spiritual perspectives
by calling upon their inner resources and
connecting with higher aspects of themselves.
Millions of baby boomers are embracing this new
integration of the inner and outer; forging their
personal and spiritual life and incorporating it
into the rest of their lives. We are living our
spirituality now. It is so much different from
back in the 70's and 80's."
Times Are Changing
I asked Barbara how she became involved with the
self-help movement. "The seeds of the movement,
which began in the late 60's and early 70's," she
recalls, "is where I learned about personal
growth. I began to meditate in 1969. By 1980,
we were going to workshops and learning to work
on ourselves. Prior to this time, it was unheard
of. Back then, there was no such thing as
"self-help" books. What I experienced in Los
Angeles when the personal growth and human
potential movement began, were new concepts that
were born into the culture which are now part of
the collective consciousness. Today, the
self-help movement is a way of life." I
commented that I totally agree. In fact, just
the other day while shopping in my local office
supply store, I spotted a section filled with
what was aptly named Folders For Your Mood. Can
you imagine we can now buy aromatherapy file
folders scented in lavender, jasmine, orange and
vanilla! What was on the fringe before is now so
mainstream.
As Barbara and I chuckled at our changing times,
she commented on some spiritually integrated
practices and words that have also found their
way into the business community. "Just the other
day," she said, "I read in USA Today a comment
about the new mantra for investmentsŠmantraŠthis
was a term that no one knew in the 70's. Look at
what is happening today. Women's liberation is
not dead. It began as a movement and a new
paradigm and has transitioned into an integrated
part of society. It is part of the culture.
Middle-aged women in Minnesota are going to Yoga
classes and breathing in to their chakras. There
was no such thing as 'wellness' before the 70's.
New levels of information are making their way
into our culture and a new spirituality is
emerging. We are looking more deeply into the
relationship between our inner and outer world."
Look For the Signs
Barbara invites us to look for the signs in our
own life that point the way to this emergence.
You may see within yourself:
- An awareness of the interconnectivity of
life. You may notice that what you do and think
affects everything around you.
- A developing global consciousness; a
realization that we are part of a whole.
- You will recognize and sense a higher purpose for your life.
- You may feel there is a rhythm and a
reason for the events that unfold before you.
- You begin to say, "I am here for a
reason; to learn, to serve and to grow."
"Our planet is ready for a shift," Barbara
concludes, "and I feel a shift is essential.
There is an acceleration taking place and the
limitations we have previously tolerated in
ourselves are no longer acceptable. There is
something powerful happening now on the planet.
Use all the turning points and wake up calls to
reexamine your life. Whether they are voluntary,
or ones you were pushed into, it is a tremendous
opportunity that stands before us. I am working
with people who are ready to make a breakthrough
in their lives and ready to experience a real
shift. This is what my work is all aboutŠalways
being ready to welcome, embrace and navigate the
unexpected!"
Liz Sterling-Southeast Feature Editor
liz@balancemagazine.com
Barbara DeAngelis is Keynote Speaker at the 2nd
Annual Ultimate Day of Balance Conference and
Expo, April 8th at Signature Grand, Ft.
Lauderdale. Continue the conversation with her
on a One-Night-Only event
on April 10th at the
Renaissance Hotel in Plantation.
Call (954) 382-4325 to register.
© 2006 Balance Magazine
