Spotlight - Embracing Uncertainty
Life is Perfect
By Liz Sterling

Susan Jeffers is the best-selling author of many books and has helped millions of people throughout the world overcome their fears, heal their relationships, and move forward in life with confidence and love.

It has been just over two years since our sense of security was dramatically eroded by destruction and terrorism. We have gone to war, eaten genetically engineered food, witnessed an unstable economy and watched prices increase at alarming rates. So now, we have something in common. We know the uncontrollable feeling of uncertainty.
Susan Jeffers postulates that we’ve become control freaks—not only because of recent circumstances, but because it’s the nature of the beast. In her newest book, Embracing Uncertainty, she says, “We live in a society that teaches us to grasp for control, total control of everything—our careers, our relationships, our children, our health, our money, our state of the world and on and on. We insist that life be secure, safe and predictable. As a result, we are uncomfortable, even panicked about all the uncertainty in our lives.” She continues, “We spend so much of our lives worrying and trying to prevent the bad from happening that we forget to enjoy the good. So now, fifteen years after the publishing of, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, she brings us a timely opportunity to embrace uncertainty. She offers us tools to help see the world in a more life affirming and powerful way. Embracing Uncertainty is about sleeping better at night…about easing the pain in our brains that comes from trying to control the uncontrollable…about making life a more enriching adventure.

Susan Jeffers in our recent interview, shares her wisdom and revelations. From a workshop addict to a put it into action person, Jeffers’ philosophy for living each moment, each day, each age and each experience is simple. According to Jeffers, “The trick is to learn to love the uncertainty of it all. To find, at last, the great satisfaction, the great joy and the great opportunity that lies within the uncertainty.” Her tools are plentiful (forty- two are included in her latest book) and she relies on them daily. Here are a few that she considers the most important:

Un-Set Your Heart
Let go of the picture of how you want it all to look like. It means letting go of trying to control things over which you have no control.
Create a “Wondering” Life Instead of a “Hoping” Life
It helps us un-set our hearts when we substitute the words “I hope” with the words “I wonder”. Examples include, ‘I hope the stock market goes up.’ vs. ‘I wonder if the stock market will go up?’ Instead of ‘I hope I keep my job.’ Say, ‘I wonder if I’ll keep my job?’ Notice the relief in this simple shift. Instead of placing yourself in the middle of the drama with your hopes, wishes, wants and desires, place yourself in the role of observer of how it will all turn out…as if you were watching a good movie unfold.
Choose the Path of Trust
When you fully understand that you have little control in the external world, you then have two choices: you can choose to see yourself as a poor-me victim at the mercy of circumstances…or you can choose to develop the trust that, no matter what happens in your life or in the world, you will have the inner strength to create something good from it all.
Increase Your Inner Sense of Power
Cut off the negativity in your mind by saying to yourself over and over again, ‘Whatever happens in my life, I’ll handle it!’ If you say it often enough, you will ultimately believe it. Replace all your what-if’s with this affirmation: ‘I‘ll handle it.’ When you really believe that you can handle anything that happens in your life and in the world, what could you possibly have to fear? Nothing!
Collect “Heroes” Who Have Learned to Handle it All
As you collect heroes, you understand that as heroes learn and grow from their experiences, you certainly can grow from yours. Some of Jeffers’ heroes include Christopher Reeve, who has created so much good as a result of his paralyzing accident; Victor Frankl, who created so much good out of his experience in a concentration camp; and Ram Dass, who created so much good as a result of his debilitating stroke. As you collect heroes…your models…you are filled with trust and your worry about the future gets smaller and smaller.
Focus on the Learning That Can Come From Any Situation in Your Life
You can learn and find strength from anything that happens to you. Jeffers has learned from and found strength as a result of her own experiences with breast cancer and divorce. If you see all situations in life as a way of learning and growing, it helps you let go of your need for things to be a certain way. So despite what is happening in your life and in the world, constantly remind yourself, ‘I can learn from this.’ When you can see the opportunities inherent in all situations, good or bad…it truly helps you embrace all the uncertainty in your life.
Embrace the Thought
“It’s all happening perfectly.” We cannot know the grand design, nor the great mystery of it all. So trust and say, ‘It’s all happening perfectly.’ We then begin looking for the good in any situation that life hands us. And when we look for the good, we will always find it.
Focus On the Riches
Focusing on the blessings in our lives is an absolute necessity for diffusing our fears about the future. Train yourself to see the beauty. As you go about your day, stop for a moment and notice when something wonderful happens. Then say to yourself, while still in the glory of the moment, ‘I have had this.’ This is the acknowledgment that, no matter what happens tomorrow, I have had this today. Notice the little things…that wonderful hot shower, that kiss from a loved one, that great meal you are eating, the warm rays of the sun, the chocolate candy bar…and so on. Appreciate your life to its fullest now!
Get Involved
Positive action has an amazing affect on our psyche. As we take action, we begin to feel more powerful and fear about our futures decreases considerably. Keep repeating to yourself, ‘My life has meaning and I will do whatever I can to make this a better world.’
Then ask yourself, ‘What am I asked to do?’ Make a list of what comes to mind and begin taking action.
When you remember your life has meaning, it makes it much easier to push through the fear and live a life that matters. And as you make these tools a part of your daily life, you experience a whole new sense of purpose emerging from within. You begin to trust that you are more powerful than you could have imagined. And, while enjoying the present, you look forward to the future with an attitude of great possibility—for yourself and for your world.

So as we approach this holiday season, many of us begin to take stock of our lives. I know I often assess my accomplishments, review my goals and then I set my course for the upcoming year. This year I recommend that you embrace the uncertainty of life—knowing we are part of a grand design full of mystery and adventure. Let’s seek to know that, as Susan Jeffers says, “It is all happening perfectly!”

Liz Sterling—Southeast Feature Editor
liz@balancemagazine.com

© 2003 Balance Magazine